3 Habits to Help Overcome Daily Stresses and Messes
Diane E. Arnold
From “The 12 Habits for a Sound Mind and Joyful Life”
Baker Books 2024
Let’s face it—life can often feel like a messy game of Jenga, and sometimes it all comes crashing down at once.
Whether it’s work drama, family chaos, or an unexpected bill you don’t remember charging, stress has a way of creeping into our lives.
I know this firsthand. One of the scariest moments in my life was when my husband, Neal, was diagnosed with stage four cancer at just 38 years old. Everything felt out of control, and fear became a constant companion. Through that terrifying journey, we discovered how little control we actually had. But what we did have were amazing friends, incredible doctors, and a loving God who never left our side, even when we felt lost. It was a lesson in letting go and leaning into faith.
If you’re struggling with daily stresses or feel like life’s been put on shuffle mode, here are three habits from my book “The 12 Habits for a Sound Mind and Joyful Life” to help you navigate those tough, messy moments. Let’s dive in with humor, encouragement, and faith!
Habit 1: Navigating Fear with Faith and Courage (Because Running Away Isn’t an Option)
Fear can make us feel like we’re standing alone in a dodgeball game, waiting to be hit. I know because, during Neal’s illness, fear felt like an unwelcome guest that wouldn’t leave. One night, I remember driving home in the rain, screaming at God out of frustration and despair (I'm sure the people in the cars next to me thought I was losing it). I felt overwhelmed and powerless. But in that quiet, raw moment, I felt God’s gentle reminder: “I love you.” It was simple but profound. Fear’s biggest lie is convincing us we’re alone and powerless, but God’s love is far stronger.
1 John 4:18 tells us, “Perfect love casts out fear.” So instead of just dodging fear, let’s confront it with faith, courage, and maybe a little bit of sass.
Practical Steps to Navigate Fear:
Name Your Fears. Whether you write them down, speak them out, or doodle them, naming your fears takes away their power. It's like discovering the “monster” under the bed is just an old sock.
Choose Faith Over Fear. Trust that God’s got your back, even when you can’t see how it will all work out. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own understanding.” You don’t need to have it all figured out to move forward.
Surround Yourself with Faith Builders. Find your people—the ones who remind you of God’s promises, cheer you on, and share the good snacks. Life’s too short to do it alone.
Habit 2: Confronting Rejection (Or, How to Survive Life’s “No’s” with Grace)
Rejection is like a “no” you never asked for—whether it’s a job that didn’t call back, a friend who forgot your birthday, or an unfair one-star review. But here’s a mindset shift: Rejection isn’t the end of the story. It’s just a redirection. In my counseling practice, I’ve seen people transform their outlook by flipping the script on rejection. One client, who kept missing out on promotions, shifted his perspective and started viewing each rejection as a nudge to grow. Not long after, his proactive mindset opened doors to better opportunities. The same can happen for you—rejection can become your GPS, recalculating your path toward something better.
Practical Steps to Confront Rejection:
Practice Self-Compassion. Don’t be your own worst critic. Be your own cheerleader, offering yourself the same kindness you’d give a friend.
Stay Connected. Rejection makes us want to retreat, but staying connected to supportive people is crucial. Share your story with trusted friends—every setback is just one chapter in your bigger story.
Turn Rejection into a Growth Tool. Think of rejection as a motivational coach, pushing you to grow, refine your skills, and pursue even better opportunities.
Habit 3: Nurture Your Support System (Because We All Need Backup)
Life is easier with a squad. During Neal’s illness, I learned how essential a support system is—not just a “nice-to-have,” but a lifeline. Friends, family, mentors—these are the people who help us navigate rough waters and remind us we’re not alone. Building strong relationships takes time and effort, like watering a plant (minus the fear of overwatering it). Reach out, invest in your relationships, and when life gets tough, these people will help you stay afloat.
Practical Steps to Strengthen Relationships:
Nurture Your Support System. Be intentional about checking in with loved ones. A simple “thinking of you” text can go a long way.
Communicate Honestly. Don’t keep your fears or frustrations bottled up. Open up to those you trust and let them help carry the load.
Set Healthy Boundaries. Know when to say no. Protect your energy and peace. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential for staying balanced.
Thriving, Not Just Surviving
These habits aren’t just about surviving life’s messes—they’re about thriving in them. By navigating fear with faith, facing rejection with grace, and building strong relationships, you’re cultivating resilience and joy that can weather any storm. So, take a deep breath, keep going, and remember: you’ve got this, and God’s got you.
Keep revisiting “The 12 Habits for a Sound Mind and Joyful Life” to stay grounded, encouraged, and maybe even entertained as you navigate this wild ride called life.
